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Excerpt from a Castaway’s Journal

September 3, 2015

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Day 352

Random thoughts I’ve had today…

As of this writing, I have named every tree on the island.

I am no longer on speaking terms with the palm tree called Fred, as he nearly beaned me with a coconut yesterday.

There will be a loincloth-optional mixer this evening down by the beach.

I look forward to spending some quality time with a couple of slender Bay trees named Ginger and Mary Ann. They aren’t much in the dance and conversation department, but they’re solid and dependable. I mean, you can really lean on them…literally. AND you don’t have to worry about them dropping a coconut on your head.

I think Fred is jealous.

It was suggested to me easier today, by an annoying Hibiscus, that I could start naming rocks. Ha! What a laugh! Like you’d name a rock. You’d have to be nuts to name a rock.

A Hibiscus is one thing, but never turn your back on a fern.

I think Fred can move.

Tonight’s menu will include mashed bananas, sliced bananas, whole bananas—peeled, whole bananas—unpeeled, overripe bananas, and underripe bananas.

Bananas will also comprise tonight’s dessert menu.

I hate bananas.

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